Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize