Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
