are you so shy because you have an std?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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