Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
