Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
