Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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