I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
