I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
