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Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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