this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize