the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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