Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
