Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize