I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
