Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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