Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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