I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
