I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
