a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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