You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
