i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
