let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
