So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
