Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
