so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize