What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
