You smell like stripper and shame
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
