My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize