i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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