C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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