a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
