I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
