I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
