Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
