If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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