Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
