I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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