He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
