It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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