after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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