Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He passed out mid-signature
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
