why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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