I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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