Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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