Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
