My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
