Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
