Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's the barista slut.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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