Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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