I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The best revenge is premature balding
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
