Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
