yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
