you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
