I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
