I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
