it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
