wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
