why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Green mimosas i think yes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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