And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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