I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
