She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My hand turned me down
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
