The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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