Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
