her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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