To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
