we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
