why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
