I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
