He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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