So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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