he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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