I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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