You're my little dorito
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
