All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
