I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
