at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
