bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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