I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
