whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize