five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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