Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
