My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
